Posts Tagged ‘Ramblings

30
Jul
12

STOP THE GUN VIOLENCE NOW.

STOP THE GUN VIOLENCE NOW.

I normally don’t get request to post causes on my blog. But for this particular subject matter I feel and agree that this subject needs to be posted. The issue is gun violence. Virgina Tech, Aurora, New York City and so on.

This is a matter that needs to be addressed, the killing of innocent people is senseless and not needed. Better laws need to be but into place by state and federal government to reflect this matter. A photographer/friend of mines Brian Everett Francis made the following public service announcement (PSA) poster/image and he asked me to post this on my blog to help spread the word about gun violence. The PSA poster is below.

This really needs to stop. The violence, killings of innocent people, better laws need to be made and put into place.

To see more of  Brian Everett Francis work, you can go to his website at.: http://www.PHAZION.COM and you can follow him on Twitter at.: @Bee_Phazion .

All that I ask is that after reading this blog post is that you the reader, click the “like” button on the bottom of this blog post to show your support against gun violence. As well post and share your comments about this issue.

27
Jul
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (IT’S ABOUT TIME.)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

IT’S ABOUT TIME.:

It has been a while since I have done a “Flatline” blog post, so I guess that I do have some catching up to do. I have been busy on still getting funding for my disability and I have been working on getting a new health plan as well.

I am happy to say that after eight months I finally got approved of my disability money. That will start next month thank goodness. It has been a long struggle to get it. Granted… I am still working on getting my health care.

Oddly enough I still have to fight for that, so the battle still continues. But at lease I will now get monthly funding to help pay the bills and have some form of a life. As well I can now somewhat concentrate on my next photography venture that I hope will be successful.

How do I feel at this point in time now that I finally got my funding approved? “Numb” would be the best way to put it. It’s sort of anti-climatic for lack of a better term. How does a person feel when all that has passed happens to them? I am not sure, but I am glad that I have made it to this point in time.

I have to admit that I do feel somewhat burnt out from the ordeal. But this is just one chapter closing and another one starting. Let’s just see how the next chapter plays out. Once I take care of a few more issues I should feel a little more comfortable with my life and where it’s going. I find it funny how as I started to write this blog post, I had quite a few thoughts that I wanted to share.

But at the moment I just can’t seem to get them typed. Way to many thoughts in my head I guess. I am sure next time I will have lots more to say. But at this point in time my thoughts just seem to be scattered at the moment.

Maybe it’s just burnout? Or shell-shocked? I am not sure… But I am glad that what I have been trying to do (get my funding…) is about to become a reality. Now I can concentrate on my life and making it better. So I guess you can say. “The adventure still goes on.”

Granted this is not the end of the “Flatline Chronicles.” If anything it’s the close of a very long chapter. There will be more flatline posts. Let’s see what happens in the next chapter of my life.

18
Jun
12

FOLSOM STREET EAST FESTIVAL OF JUNE 17, 2012 IN NEW YORK CITY.

One of the many reasons that I love my home town of New York City. Is the fact that there are some street festivals that appear  to be very interesting and worth going to.

The Folsom Street East Festival is was of those street fairs that is very interesting, and worth going to. Reason being is because the Folsom Street East Festival is an annual BDSM and leather subculture street fair.

You can see the events website located at.: http://www.folsomstreeteast.org/

I have always wanted travel to see such an event, but for various reasons, I have missed it in past years. But this time around I was able to travel and view yesterdays event. The festival was packed of loads of people (sorry for the pun…) that are into the BDSM and leather subculture, along with supporters, and people that were just generally interested in discovering the subculture.

I have always been fascinated with it myself, so I was more than willing to go check it out. So with camera in hand and tow I went to go check it out. The place was packed with lots of people, leather, gym bodies, condoms and kink. Actually… The fact that it had loads of people, leather, gym bodies, condoms and kink just made it all the more fun.

While at the event I did see some of my friends that I have not seen in a while and as well have seen one of my Twitter followers that I know for a fact is totally into the BDSM and leather subculture. For the record I know a few of my Twitter followers that are into it as well. But at the time I have seen only one of them. Granted with so many people there I am sure that I had missed the others. And as well I did encounter another major blogger from the blogosphere, who was just carrying on being a social butterfly. Witch they are notorious for doing. With press pass in hand, I went deep to explore the event, and to check out what was going on.

And I did notice a major porn star at the event as well. “Hot Dam!” :-)

Below are the photos that I had taken from the event.

This was the fist person that I had noticed as soon as I walked into the event. You couldn’t miss him for he was on stilts.

Like I said… The place was packed.

This was the live stage they had for acts an performances.

I tried a few times to get into the Eagle Bar a couple of times, but as you can see the place was packed!

One of the many interesting displays at the event.

Someone getting whipped, slightly of course for this was a public display.

Silence Of The Lambs?

Work that hair dammit!

The picture above I thought was funny for the tee-shirt on the person’s back had read. “If I wore something underneath this kilt, then it would be a skirt.”

Someone mentioned to me that the person in the above photo, in the burgundy and grey stripped undershirt was news broadcaster Keith Boykin, this I did not confirm.

I noticed the ass and I had to take a few photos.

I did say that I noticed the ass… You was warned! ;-)

And now the front view.

All I can say about the last six photos is “Lord have mercy.” Mind you… That was mentioned in a good way. This event was a sight to see, and it’s a “must return” event for next year.

17
Jun
12

THE LU LOGIC’S BLOG DAILY.

As of today I will be using on online media newspaper to supplement my blog.: http://lulogicblog.com This service will be provided by.: http://paper.li Paper.li is a content circulation service. It enables people to publish newspapers based on topics they like and treat their readers to fresh news, daily.

This will be another format for my readers to have that will give the individual reader, more daily access to myself and my blog. It will also highlight subjects such as daily news, online media, arts and entertainment, LGBT, photography, politics, world news, trending topics and much more.

This new online daily newspaper will be called “The Logic of @CastroLuisE.”

This is an online news publication that will be updated daily with all the newest news and information in a “newspaper format.”

The news that is provided to ”The Logic of @CastroLuisE Daily” Will be provided from my Twitter stream from major news organizations, and from the many people that I follow. And will include postings and highlights from myself as well.

You can view “The Logic of @CastroLuisE Daily” at.: http://paper.li/LUIS_CASTRO_NYC/1339897910

May everyone enjoy the launch of the newest addition to my blog.

14
Jun
12

VISION.

VISION.:

The concept of what I wanted to do for this photography post was just to just go around town. (In this case Manhattan, New York.) And just randomly take photos during my travels. Now granted this concept is not a new idea, most people will just walk around with the hopes of getting an interesting or great photo taken.

And I know some of you are thinking “You did pick Manhattan, New York for your location.” My answer to the above question/statement is “No… I did not pick Manhattan as the primary location. I live in New York City and traveling to Manhattan is something that I may have to do  once or twice a week to randomly take care of some business that I may have.”

There is nothing special about Manhattan New York if you ask me. (Now I know that some of you who are reading this and that have never been to New York City are probably gasping for air, mouth wide open. Clutching your pearls, and crossing your legs in fear as if I broke some sort of religious holy rule that will have me instantly combust into flames and burn in fire and brimstone.) And some of you might be saying “How dare you talk evil about Manhattan like that!?!?” As if Manhattan is some sort of magical wonderland that should be worshiped, and all areas around it are irrelevant.

Now Let me explain my reasoning… New York City consists of five boroughs, each of which comprises a state county. The five boroughs—The Bronx,Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island—were consolidated into a single city back in 1898.

With the above said, We (or New York City’s tourism board) I should say promote Manhattan as the crown gem of the city. To me… “It’s just another part of town.” But each of the five boroughs are very unique and are worth exploring if you ever travel here.

With that said… What I wanted to do for this post was to just take random images of around town during one of my travels into the city. (Manhattan) I really did not take the time to plan this photo shoot, like I normally would do. No planned/or set location in mind, no planned subject to photograph. And no planning on film speed, ISO settings, lighting, lens filters, lens hood  and so on.

Just “point and shoot” the images that I wanted to take. So to a small extent you will be seeing what I have seen during my travels of the day, my camera becomes my eyes and “vision” and what is posted is what one would have seen if you was walking with me during my travels.

Some of the photos that you will see are also taken in black and white for I thought at the time that some of the photos taken would look better than in color.

The journey of my day starts in Brooklyn New York, arriving at fifty-ninth street, Columbus Circle in Manhattan. After my appointment on the West-Side of Manhattan, I traveled (walked) down twelfth avenue and fifty-ninth street to an area in lower Manhattan known as the West Village.

It was a good, long walk with a few funny moments that had happened as well. That will all be explained later in the post. So for now… Enjoy the view of what I had seen.

York Street Subway Station Brooklyn, New York.

York Street Subway Station Brooklyn, New York in black in white.

59th Street Subway exit showing globe statue and the Trump Tower.

John Jay College of Criminal Justice.

John Jay College of Criminal Justice in black and white.

Statue at the entrance of DeWitt Clinton Park, DeWitt Clinton was the 6th Governor of the State of New York.

Intersection of 12th Ave & 34th Street, Manhattan. I really enjoy this photo for its rare that there is hardly any traffic on 34th street. (Or so I thought… I will explain shortly.) And off in the distance you see the Empire State Building. And now as mentioned, a “funny moment” needs to be told about the above listed photo.

I stated that there was hardly any traffic when the photo was taken. But what was behind me was major traffic turning off 12th avenue trying to get on 34th street. So I had to literally dodge, trucks, cars and tractor trailers trying to get on the street. You had about less than thirty seconds to get to the middle of the street, focus and shoot the photo before the light changes and traffic behind you starts barreling in on you.

And if that is not enough…

I went back to the middle of the street again to take the above black and white photo. Notice the cement truck on the right side of the photo, that was what had to swing around me as I stood in the middle of the street. The things I do for photography. :-)

12th Ave & 32nd Street black and white. Taking this picture and the next one “almost” got me in trouble with police. It’s another funny story, how is it funny getting in trouble with the police? I will explain.

While taking this photo I tweeted via my BlackBerry to my Twitter account the following tweet. “@LUIS_CASTRO_NYC: Why the cops spying on me? Leave me alone! I am taking #photos !”

What had happen was that there was an unmarked police car that suddenly stopped short in the middle of traffic, blocking traffic that was now forced to go around them and the officers inside the unmarked car were just watching me.

Why was they doing this? The photo below explains.

Granted… It’s the same area, 12th Ave & 32nd Street. But If you look to the left on the middle of the block, it’s where the Department of Sanitation stores some of its garbage trucks, one of many facilities around the city. So it seems that I was some sort of threat just taking photos of the area.

Mind you… I just ignored them and just kept taking photos, besides. It was and is a public area, with so sign telling me not to do so. So I just kept doing so. I was once told by another photographer when I once asked him to review my work and could be give me some advice. And he told me as advice. “Never be afraid to take a shot.”

Good advice if you ask me, and one that I will always remember.

This photo above is of a park on 12 Avenue and West 23rd Street in the Chelsea area of Manhattan. One of the many oasis for kids and adults to enjoy.

This photo of a FDNY Fireboat, was taken once I had gotten to the West Side piers and park. In the background you can see Jersey City New Jersey. The FDNY Fireboat was traveling north across the Hudson River.

The next photo below I felt just had to be taken in black and white.

The photo above is of The new World Trade Center that is currently being built after the 9/11 attacks. A view that you can see all the way from the West Side piers and park. In retrospect, here is a photo of one of the original World Trade Towers being built back in 1971.

A true rebirth in progress. Interesting how the photo taken in 1971 and the one I took yesterday (June 13, 2012) seem to have been taken under similar weather conditions. Low cloud cover with slight drain/drizzle coming down.

Now the photo below is one of the many reasons that I love New York City.

Yes… Canadian Geese in Hudson River!

Their was two of them floating around in the Hudson River. In such a metropolitan city such as New York, you do see nature.

The photo above is the Gay Liberation statue in Christopher Park (at the intersection of Christopher, Grove, and West 4th Streets.)

The final photo was taken just before going home back to Brooklyn.

This was just a random photo of 6th Avenue and Waverly Place in Manhattan. Just a simple photo of a local street with people walking about.  And there goes a typical day for me, where you see my travels of the day, where my camera becomes my eyes and “vision.”

26
May
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (SIX MONTHS.)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

SIX MONTHS.:

Today is May 26, 2012. This date may not mean much to anyone, but this date matters to me. For it has been exactly six months since I have had my stroke. On may 12,2012 a little over two weeks ago I had written a post about my up coming anniversary of the stroke that I had.

You can see the post here.

http://lulogicblog.com/2012/05/09/flatline-the-stroke-chronicles-six-months-and-waiting/

 Within the blog post mentioned above I had shared my thoughts on the upcoming date of the six month anniversary of my stroke. Sounds morbid I know, but it does mean something to be. Feels like it all happened years ago or not even at all that this happened to me, but it did.

“How do I feel?” You might ask? To answer that question I can honestly say… “I don’t know.”

“How does one feel about such an event in one’s life when the moment has not ended?”  My recovery is still going on, and I am only just recently just starting my next round of physical therapy. I have not even taken the time to plan my life for the near future.

Correction… “I have not taken the time to see what could be my options in the near future.” Reason being is that it depresses me, so I try to avoid those thoughts for now. I know that they will have to be address, just not right now I feel.

The old saying of “One step at a time.” Seems to be true for me nowadays. Besides… I try not to go into “Sensory overload.” Besides… We all know that story.

http://lulogicblog.com/2012/03/08/flatline-the-stroke-chronicles-sensory-overload/

I just feel that at this point in my life I just have one to many unknown variables to work with at this time. I could come up with a plan, but it’s so volatile that it all could change in an instant. So I just try to approach things a little differently I guess.

I try to keep busy with my life, funny thing about that is the fact that I am kept busy still trying to get  various social services that I need, since I don’t have a social worker helping me out with all the paperwork that I alone have been processing and submitting.

But when I am not doing paperwork I pretty much try not to think about it all. I still try to be active and justify my activities as “therapy.” Instead of just lying around the apartment, I just try to keep moving. After all its better for the muscles on the right side of my body that have been affected by the stroke.

It’s not a perfect way to get better, but I consider it “better than nothing at all.” For I find my physical therapy to be not enough for me. Thirty minutes at a hospital rehab center once a week is just not enough. Not for me or anyone with my condition for that matter I think.

I feel that I will rise above all this.

I always had that feeling since day one of my stroke. Call it “hope” or “wishful thinking.” But I do think that in good time, I will come out fine from all this. Only time will tell and from my efforts of trying to get better will prove the final outcome of such an event in my life.

I will say this much… “This is one chapter in my life that I do hope ends very soon.” But atlas… That is not the case and the chapter/story goes on. This whole event has changed my thoughts a lot about health, health care, the handicapped and so on. So what is my calling now? What will be my next turn of events with my life?

I am still alive of course, but now that this has happened. Do I plan for my potential death? Or Do I enlighten others, or myself to find the meaning of all this? Maybe I am just reaching out to far. Like as if I am trying to touch the hand of God?

That’s if he (God) exists of course. What if he never existed? If so… Then what am I reaching out for? An answer and the reasoning to all this? And what about all the other of millions of people that have been affected? What are they reaching for? The answer? A new lease on life? Then of course there are those that never survived having a stroke. Have they all died in vain?

Odd but interesting questions I think? Or maybe I just have too much free time on my hands? I can only imagine what the next six months will bring me. I had a plan of my life around this time last year on what I was going to do, but now that has all changed. And I never even thought of a backup plan incase something like this happened. Then again do we ever have a backup plan? It’s almost safe to say “no.”

Then of course I could be wrong about the above mentioned, what do you think? Only time and planning will dictate what will happen to me next and of course any unforeseen circumstances as well can change the direction of the next six months, six days, six minutes of my life.

I am (for feel that I am…) half way to the end of a long journey. I am so ready for the next chapter in my life. In time… I will happen. No rush or worries. For you cannot worry about what may or may not come next in life.

“Just embrace life, keep moving forward.”

One small fact before I end this post. The Date and time of this blog post being premiered online (May 26,2012 at 5:30 p.m.) Was about the exact time I entered into the emergency room of St. Luke’s-Roosevelt Hospital in New York City back in November 26, 2011 at 5:30 p.m.

Exactly six months.

21
May
12

ROBIN GIBB DEAD AT 62.

A major and powerful force in one of the most successful music groups of all time, Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees died May 20 at the age of 62.

I feel that this is way to young an age to pass. First it was Whitney Houston, then Donna Summer, and now Robin Gibb. I guess the old saying of “death comes in threes” is true. We feel and somewhat expect celebrities to live long or in some cases maybe forever.

But that will never happen and once in a while, death will happen to all of us. And death has come once again. Robin Gibb of the Bee Gees has passed away.

I feel that the music of my past and childhood is slowly passing away into infinity. Never to be recreated or sang again by the original person that sung that certain song that we had liked and enjoyed so very much.

Call me a romantic, a dreamer of the past, old fashion. I don’t care what you call me. But the past was much simpler than now I feel. The Bee Gees music I feel was timeless, original, not some form of a remixed song. It was joy and perfection to me.

Or maybe the sixties and seventies did finally catch up with him? Who knows… Who cares? What I care about is the fact that we have once again lost another great true talent.

How can we forget that he was part of a trio that gave up all such great music?

I for sure can’t. It’s video clips like the one above that is one of the many reason that I like YouTube. :-)

Hell… They gave us the Saturday Night Fever Movie Soundtrack!

I remember in my younger years going to the club (It was called “Spectrum.’)  that still had the actual dance floor from the movie and a small group of us got on the dance floor after we requested the DJ to play the Bee Gees song “You Should Be Dancing.” And we got on the dance floor and danced to the song just like in the video above. We danced with precision like as if we were the Radio City Rockettes all doing that dance. Granted the dance floor was short width wise but did have length. We tried our best to do so, there was eight of us, two rows of four people dancing to the song in rhythm. We all got a good kick out of it. So did the crowd as well.

I will say this much, I am glad YouTube was not around then. But I think it was a good drunken attempt at a movie dance number. That for me was one of the many fond memories that I have when I hear that song.

Robin Gibb will be missed, never forgotten and never replaced. R.I.P. Robin.

17
May
12

R.I.P. DONNA SUMMER “THE QUEEN OF DISCO.” DEAD AT THE AGE OF 63.

 

It has been said that disco died on Thursday, July 12, 1979, at Comiskey Park in Chicago, Illinois. To me that is NOT the day disco died. The day disco died is Thursday May 17, 2012.  It has been reported by TMZ that disco legend Donna Summer died this morning at the age of 63 after a battle with cancer. Summer achieved stardom with such singles as “I Feel Love,” “Love to Love You Baby”, “Last Dance”, “Hot Stuff”, and “She Works Hard for the Money”.

Personally I think Donna Summer achieved stardom with all her music. There was no way anybody could not like any of her songs. Myself I enjoyed them all. She died at so young an age, only sixty-three years old.

We think at times that famous people live forever. But reality kicks in and a person would pass away. And the shock of the news of a disco legend dies shocks us all. I remember as a young child hearing all her songs on the radio. ”I Feel Love,” “Love to Love You Baby”, “Last Dance”, “Hot Stuff”, and so on.

The song “Love to Love You Baby” I never did understand as a young child, but I just loved the song. But as I got older and realized what is was about, my first thought as was “Oh shit! It was about sex and getting your rocks off!” Oh the wonders and joy of a catholic school education. For as a kid they when through great lengths not to tell you about sex. It was “evil” and would send you to hell. The had told us.

But Donna Summer was not just about nasty, freaky disco sex songs. She made great music and had a fantastic talent. She set the bar for entertainment back in the days, “disco” you can say was her middle name.

Every song I hear from her reminds me of my childhood and the 70′s. I was just a kid, a small child way to young to go to a disco. But her music does bring back good memories for me.

She was a true star with major talent. She made a name for herself, she was a true icon. Born on December 31, 1948  and died on May 17, 2012. Way to young I feel. She will never be forgotten for disco is Donna Summer.

“Someone left a cake out in the rain.” A song lyric that anyone could instantly tell you who said it.

As a tribute to Donna Summer maybe I should be that “someone” who puts “a cake out in the rain.” Maybe we all can do that as a tribute?

Rest in peace Donna Summer, you will be missed but never forgotten. For you music was not just greatest hits they were anthems.

 

 

 

 

09
May
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (SIX MONTHS AND WAITING.)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

SIX MONTHS AND WAITING.:

As of May 26, 2012 it will be six months since I have had my stroke. What have I been doing for the past six months? I have been dealing with bureaucracy, paperwork, health care delays, insurance issues, job bureaucracy, social workers that don’t give a rats ass about me and my current condition. Medical staff that has a “God Complex.” Arrogance, random people that put on a fake act of sympathy, or can not be bothered to listen. I am stating to feel that people will never understand what I am going through.

And that is just a small portion of a deep, dark world that we never hear about until one falls from the heights of heaven, with no warning or reason as to why this was being done to me. I had fallen on to a planet called “Earth.”

And when I had woken up from that fiery descent and rose from the ashes, I noticed my wings were burned off, bleeding and destroyed. And from then on I was forced to join the masses of thousands of human beings that were also inflicted with pain and suffering.

For life to me before this point was not exactly Heaven. But I was happy, working and getting things done. I was getting my life back together after being unemployed for over a year and a half. And then this happens to me a stroke.

Why did God (If there is such a being…) Do this to me and to others as well?

I have often wondered about this. What is God’s plan? Does he have a plan? Or is he just playing this all by ear and winging it? What is his agenda for me and the rest of the human race?

Or is this all the work of Satan?

Did I need to be striked down?

Is paradise or my concept of it lost to me? Or was I just one of Satan’s little helpers that tried to blend in with the rest of heaven and I was forced to leave?

I will never know the answer, but I often wonder what is next for me. What is my next move? What will I do now? This is all and still is new territory for me. I am still waiting for city, state and federal funding to be approved.

Yes… That is correct I am still waiting for New York state and Federal funding to come to me. Very odd how I rushed to get this all submitted within a timely fashion, but I am still waiting for the approval.

I have spent the past six months scrounging for cash to pay my bills and nearly getting by. How much long does one have to go through this? It’s a miracle that I have managed this far, but I don’t know how long I can keep going?

It’s like being lost at sea during a storm with no idea on where to go, and how to get where you want to be. But I do try to say the lease. Six months of waiting with no end in sight. That is what is feels like at times. I am glad that I am able to wake up every day, it could have been worse. I could have been dead.

But at last I am not that, thank goodness. I am just not ready to leave, not now. But this whole experience is one that I can never forget so easily. And if you never have to experience this let this be a warning on what to expect.

Seriously though… Where do I go for more help? I really have no idea and I have been trying to explore options and keep getting lost in the process. Has the American health care system gotten to a point of just paperwork and bureaucracy?  People that don’t care and so on?

When does the wait end? When will I get my funding and full support that I need? This delay in recovery should not be. But atlas it is. I would feel a whole lot better if I had some form of support. Granted there is family, but they can only do so much and I know at this point I am becoming a burden to them.

So many variables to consider. It just makes my head explode, and at times I fall into a depression that I feel that I just can’t get out of. This is what so many people do not understand because they have not lived through this.

They just shake it off like as if it’s not their problem. We have become a society of needs, wants and selfishness. Self centered, greedy and so on. When I die at my time of death, will I be remembered for who I was, or what I had become as death took me away. I often brood but I have to keep it to myself, for I become wrong for showing people and pointing out how rude they are acting. All of the sudden I am the evil, rude person, and that is so not the case.

I am still me. But I will show you how such a jerk you are, or have become. Am I wrong for correcting you? It seems so in today’s society, or am I the last of a dying breed? I have to keep telling myself that maybe this all happened to me for a reason? But what is that reason? What can happen to me after all this that can make my life better? Will I be happier?

Or is this just the next evolution in my life? Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We are all raised with that quote in mind. Where is my life going now? My liberties I feel have been taken away, and the pursuit of happiness is slowly slipping away from me. That is how I am feeling.

I have been working so much to get my life to where it has been before the stroke, the last thing I want is to lose everything that I worked for.  I have to move forward, I can’t stop, some people might get offended by my actions, but at times I feel that I am left with no choice.

All I just want right now is some support, friendship and help to guide me through all this. That is all that I need, and I don’t feel that I am asking for too much.

23
Apr
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (WAITING.)

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. 

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

WAITING:


Waiting I feel is the worse part of dealing with a stroke. What I mean by that statement is the following. During the time of recovery one is subjected to submit paperwork, for ones current place of employment. Medical providers, insurance carriers, pay bills and so on.

And you are expected to do all this in a timely fashion.

Granted… I feel at times that there are more hours spent dealing with all the paperwork, bills and pending issues that are used, than in a normal work day.

And of course… I am not getting paid for doing this.

After rushing to get all the needed paperwork submitted on time, one ends up waiting for what seems and feels like a long time for a response. And that is my biggest gripe at the moment. Waiting for funding to get my bills paid and to have some form of cash to use on a daily basis.

Of course I did save for such an event, you know… Just encase I became unemployed or otherwise. Well… since “otherwise” happened to me, I had to use my saved funding.

That was able to hold me over for about three months, but at this point the funding is now depleted. And of course the clock is ticking.


After all we all know that the bill collectors can’t wait for the monthly bills to be paid. So we all do what we can to get by. Such as borrow from friends and family when needed. Of course everyone will get paid back, it’s just a matter of when they will get paid.

Hence once again another countdown clock ticking away.


You see where I am going with this… But all joking aside, money is needed to get by on a regular basis. For as we all know it will lead to more problems down the line if the bills don’t get paid. I often find myself thinking “what if” or “what next?” And of course the “worst case scenario” as well. I do try not to think about it that much. But it does pop into my head from time to time, that I will admit.

I am thankful for the friends that I do have that have given me support during this time, I really owe them a lot after all is said and done with this adventure.

I just have to keep reminding myself that this is just another step in my life and not the end. Hence my quote when I start the flatline chronicles post. “Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

But I do keep moving on, you have to, if not. It’s like death I think. And we all know that we can’t come back from death. I just hate the “unknown.”

Not knowing what is next for me down the line since this is all new territory for me is what bothers me the most. Each day is a new discovery for me. And I say to myself that this well end and a new chapter will be written in my life.

The final outcome to my recovery is all on me, nobody else but me. Others that may be going through this may understand what I am saying, and might agree with me as well. I am open to any feedback and thoughts to this, for one can learn from all this.

Life is a learning experience, an adventure, a new chapter in a book. That is how I see it. But beyond all this and my thoughts, I still have to wait for assistance.

That is what gets me the most… All the waiting that I have to endure. I pray that I don’t have to wait longer.




ARCHIVES

Categories

Author

TWITTER UPDATES

Blog Stats

  • 34,080 hits

TOP RATED POST

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 20 other followers

CALENDAR

May 2013
S M T W T F S
« Aug    
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.