22
Feb
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (NEVER SAY THE “S” WORD.)

Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

NEVER SAY THE “S” WORD.:

I know it’s been a while since my last stroke chronicle entry. I guess I needed some time to discover and put together this post.

But I have discovered something new. Sad… But all true. And that is people do treat you differently when you have  a stroke. In some ways it’s kindness, like for example. Getting onto a New York City subway train packed with people during rush hour and some total stranger gives up their seat for you.

Granted… I don’t always take the seat, not that it’s a matter of pride. Just that there are times that I rather just stand. To all the total strangers that have done so, I say “thank you” to you all. :-)

But the other truth that I want to talk about is the darker side.

That “dark side” is how some people not all granted… Just some people… Treat others.

And that side is more like ” I can’t be bothered with you and you are not worth my time.” or ” You are a problem to society since you can’t seem to function.”

Racist maybe? Could be… Or maybe ignorance? I really don’t ponder it myself.

But I have found it odd that people’s attitudes do change when they find out I had a stroke. In some cases it a “fake sorrow” of them saying for example “Oh… I am so sorry to hear that.” ore them trying to pretend that they do not see you. Like one woman who I know whose name is Miss Cox. (Yes… this is her brief moment of shame here… :-( )

But it does happen oddly enough. Granted… If people ask me what happened to my right leg (since I do have to use a cane at times to walk around…) and I say. “I was in an accident a short while back.” Then their attitudes seem much better to me.

None of that fake bull shit sorrow or trying to find a way to end a conversation quickly. Granted I am NOT looking for anyones pity or sorrow. Just show me some god dam respect! After all I was just like you before this all happened.

But oddly enough it does happen. Mind you there are times I will have a total stranger just walk up to me and say a few supportive works, and that does put a smile on my face from time to time. I mean think about it… Someone who I never meet, will never see again and does not know anything about me. Who just walks up to me during my travels and will just say a few nice words.

I find it odd in all honesty. But at the same time comforting. For there are times that one does need support in all that  they do in life.

But the oddest thing about it all is the fact that if I never mention the words ” I had a stroke.” or As I jokingly say “The S word.” Then I am treated like a normal person and not some form of burden on society. And to be totally honest here, I just find the whole experience odd for a person’s attitude can simple change just based on ones temporary health condition or situation.

I mean… God forbid it should happen to them. Then again what is that old saying?

“Karma is a bitch.” 

Have we as a society have put so much on looks and great health that we all have forgotten the less fortunate, or those that are just going through a bad period with their health, that may only be temporary and not permanent? I think we all really have to wonder about this.

Granted… This post is not a rant. If anything I am just trying to bring to light what has been kept in the dark.

Thank about it people. You really need to.

08
Jan
12

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (THE ADJUSTMENT)

Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” 

THE ADJUSTMENT:

It has been a short while from being released from the hospital. And I will admit that life in general now does seem different at the moment. It seems and feels like some things I take for granted now I have to pay more attention to such as walking outside.

For instance… On my first trip to the corner store took me about an hour round trip. Mind you under normal circumstances it should have taken me just ten minutes to go to the store and back home. But I did make it to the store and back with no problems.

And I do have to admit that the thirty or sixty seconds the city give you to cross a street before the light starts to change red feels like it’s not enough at times, but I did manage. I find myself constantly reminding myself to take an easy pace walking around and not try to rush during my travels.

Getting use to walking around with a cane is an adjustment as well, granted I don’t use the cane while at home just when I am out on the street. Before my stroke I use to be able to walk long distances, but nowadays my travels have been limited. Granted I do feel that in good time I will be able to travel long distances again via walking.

But for now I do have to limit my travels and get use to walking shorter distances. As I mentioned before this is only temporary. I just have to readjust until I fully heal, or get as close as I can to being fully healed. Also I do find myself getting tired a little sooner that normal while walking as well.

The reason I find myself getting tired in my travels is because my right leg does drag and slow me down a bit at times. But once it gets back to semi or full walking use I should do better I feel.

Overall I am trying to make the necessary adjustments to what I have to go through on a daily basis now. I do have my good day and bad day as well trying to get around. But I have found that you just can’t stop and let such a thing take over your life.

“You just can’t do so.”

You have to keep going, well… that is what I tell myself anyway. I can understand how some people could fall into depression from this. But I try to keep moving forward and not think about it. But I have to admit that I do find myself saying. “Oh… I can’t do that any more, maybe next time then”

For me there will always be a next time. I can’t let this be an end to part of my life.

That is what I have to tell myself, on some days more than others, but one day… I will no longer have to say it, all in good time of course.

After all… This is only the beginning, not the end.

01
Jan
12

THE NEW YEAR 2012.

 

WISHING EVERYONE A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

 

 

 

 

31
Dec
11

THIS I FIND DISTURBING.

This I find very disturbing. Below is a Twitter timeline from a series of Tweet that was exchanged from a friend of mines on Twitter and a total stranger. It was based on a tweet from Kelly Clarkson the tweet is below.

“I love Ron Paul. I liked him a lot during the last republican nomination and no one gave him a chance. If he wins the nomination for the Republican party in 2012 he’s got my vote. Too bad he probably won’t.”

As you can see in the Twitter timeline below, this is angry, bigoted, and very backwards-thinking that still seems to infest people’s minds. It’s rude and nasty chatter like this that makes me wonder if mankind’s mind has ever evolved.

This is racist, shameful, rude, disrespectful talk coming from Twitter user @duchess68524. As a society we must stop this hate! There is no need for this! Twitter user and friend @JustShabobe was doing nothing more than voicing an opinion.

Shame to @duchess68524 for voicing such hates!  They think they are grown, but the fact is that she has to resort to using such angry rhetoric to get her point across. She makes statements such as “, you AIDS-infected fag milkshake milk chocolate looking ass” to get a point across?

Her parents should talk to her so that she can stop her evil ways! This is pure hate in one of its many forms. And this just needs to stop!

So shame on you @duchess68524! If you want to be bitter, sixteen and pregnant, racist. Then maybe in your future you will become pregnant, catch HIV/AIDS and hate minorities for the rest of you life.

So if that is what you want from life then that is fine, but don’t ever impose such thoughts on the rest of us.

Below is a copy of the actual Twitter feed from my friend @JustShabobe and the stupid, evil nimrod @duchess68524. You have to read the timeline from the bottom to the top for the correct exchange of Tweets.

As for Kelly Clarkson tweeting this. I would say. “Think before you tweet, granted you too are entitled to your opinion as well. But take the time to research who you support. As well don’t lash out to your fans, after all they made who you currently are.”

The exchange can be seen on  @JustShabobe and @duchess68524 Twitter timeline. Kelly Clarkson tweet can be seen at @kelly_clarkson.

My Twitter account is @LUIS_CASTRO_NYC and my friends Twitter account is @JustShabobe if you ever want to follow or send a comment to us via Twitter.

The text below has been unedited and in it’s original form from the Twitter feed, along with a comment that my friend sent to me via e-mail.

 

The text below was an e-mail that my friend sent me that motivated me to submit this post.

Hey,

Below is a timeline feed from Twitter about how a difference of opinion reveals a bit of racism when people  With 2012 election coming faster and faster, it is clear that there’s a definite divide between liberal and conservatives on a number of issues from gays to minorities to equality. Not to say that conservatives are more prejudice than liberals because it exist in both parties. It’s the angry, bigoted, and very backwards-thinking rhetoric that comes from staunch conservatives like the current candidates for the GOP nomination.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and we are should be respected for such, but there’s nothing wrong with debating what you believe in. Read below to see how respect is thrown out of the window when people stop being polite or respectful to each other.

 

 THE TWITTER TIMELINE BELOW IS SHOWN IN TRADITIONAL “TWITTER” FORMAT, WITH THE BOTTOM “TWEET” BEING THE FIRST. THE LAST TWEET ON THE TOP AS THE ACTUAL END OF THE CONVERSATION.

*Please note the following. The claim made by @dutchess68524: that @JustShabobe is a pedophile is TOTALLY FALSE! As well at the time of this blog post @dutchess68524  Twitter account had been terminated by Twitter.

TWITTER CONVERSATION BELOW.

Just been blocked & reported RT @dutchess68524: Report and block @JustShabobe…he said he wants to have sex with me. He’s a pedophile.

I’m gay and she is harassing me! RT @dutchess68524: Report and block @JustShabobe…he said he wants to have sex with me. He’s a pedophile.

@dutchess68524 No wonder u’re clueless…u’re a child and extremely uneducated. This explains a lot. Poor u, haha

@dutchess68524 No, I said my chest is better than yours which means u just look like a boy naked. Not hot on a woman

@dutchess68524 Don’t hate cuz my chest is better than yours. Anyway, I think others will want u for ur views, not ur body. Maybe not, haha

@dutchess68524 I feel sorry for u actually. You seem bitter, angry, lonely, self-hating, highly inferior to others, and a dumb bitch.

@dutchess68524 Well, u have to have sex to get it. I doubt that’s happening in ur life. No one wants a bitter chick

Ha, You crushing on me? @dutchess68524: @JustShabobe Uhh I believe that’s you, you AIDS-infected fag milkshake milk chocolate looking ass

You’re seriously clueless, but it’s Ok, I have more respect for scum than u. RT @dutchess68524: @JustShabobe you’re gay? #yuck

@dutchess68524 I don’t want to control small-minded people. They take up too much space

@dutchess68524 And I can’t be racist, my wht boyfriend next to me wouldn’t approve, hahaha

@dutchess68524 You’re not very smart. You support a racist, PERIOD! Hitler only wanted his race to excel, not his country. Just like Mr Paul

@dutchess68524 Dunno, u should ask him. Seems like u two could be related

@dutchess68524 for the record, you are the true piece of shit considering u defend a party that doesn’t care for women. How smart do u seem?

@dutchess68524 No dumbass, b/c Ron Paul is a bigot, wants Jews destroyed, and your buddy @kelly_clarkson is all about him like u are.

@dutchess68524: @JustShabobe oh because all white people are hicks, you racist piece of shit.

@dutchess68524 Lol, Obama led the charge. Anyway, all the GOP runners have constantly shown they are out-of-touch, angry, obsessed hicks.

@dutchess68524: @JustShabobe neither did Obama. Brave men over seas did.

@dutchess68524 He killed Osama to start and it only took two yrs in Afghanistan, not 8 years in Iraq to do it

@dutchess68524 At the end of the day, I want a unifier as my next President, not a divider

@dutchess68524 It doesn’t compare to what the last GOP Prez did to this country and the # of weirdos vying to be the nominee now.

@dutchess68524 Sure, just I don’t respect peeps who support the destruction of one country, blames the US for 9/11, and is a Southern bigot.

@kelly_clarkson Just cuz Ron Paul is another Texan, doesn’t mean u stand behind them. Ever hear of the term Lemmings off a bridge? #Dumbass

 

 

Well… at lease Kelly Clarkson apologized at the end of all this. Unlike @dutchess68524 .

 

THE HATE HAS TO STOP EVERYONE! AND IT STOPS ONLY WHEN YOU TAKE ACTION TO DO SO.

23
Dec
11

HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2011.

Wishing everyone all the best, and joy for the holidays. As well… Everyone have a great new year. And many thanks for following my blog. For it’s people’s thoughts and comments that motivate me to keep on going. :-)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

20
Dec
11

FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES. (INTRODUCTION)

Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.” – Luis Castro A.K.A Lu Logic

INTRODUCTION:

As my first entry into “Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.”  Before I start to mention and thank everyone that has help me and proceed to tell my story. I just wanted to give my current state of mind as to how I am currently feeling.

Those feelings are the following.:

Depressed. A feeling of rage and anger. Sadness, feeling useless not being able to contribute to the world. And lost.

But most importantly… I have this feeling that I am no longer the person that I was once originally.

I know that sounds odd, but I truly feel that I am no longer the same person that I once was. I keep saying to myself as if I am talking to another person saying. “You can do this, and move on.”

The following song lyric keeps playing in my head as if I am telling it to the “original me.” That song lyric is the following.

“I won’t let you down. I will not give you up. Gotta have some faith in the sound. It’s the one good thing that I’ve got. I won’t let you down. So please don’t give me up, cause I would really, really love to stick around, oh yeah.”

This is what I am saying to my other self. That “other self” is my body and soul before the stroke ever happened. I don’t plan on giving up, but I find myself at times telling my current body this. “Just keep moving forward.”

The song lyric is from singer George Michael, It’s the opening/starting lyric From the song “Freedom! ’90.”

“I won’t let you down. I will not give you up. Gotta have some faith in the sound. It’s the one good thing that I’ve got. I won’t let you down. So please don’t give me up, cause I would really, really love to stick around, oh yeah.”

The above lyric is what I say/sing to myself every waking moment and every day since the first day I woke up in a hospital bed on that faithful November Sunday morning. November 27, 2011 to be exact. The first full day to the start of my new life.

I guess one might call it a birthday. Actually I do just that. It’s kind of funny actually that the stroke happened exactly one week before my forty-fifth birthday. My birthday was on December 3, 2011. These two dates I will never forget. I just feel that I am a totally different person now.

Like as if I have a vague memory of who I originally was. Is this felling that I am having normal? Honestly I don’t know. Should I know this answer? “I don’t know.”

Maybe this is normal… This feeling. Once again “I don’t know.” Will I ever know? “I don’t know.” That is what scares me the most, the unknown. This is why I must move forward in my life. For I feel that if I stop, my current life stops.

My motto seems to be the following now. Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.”  This odd motto is what keeps me going.

I was after such a very long time just getting my life back together. Then out of nowhere… I was banished from the heights of heaven, with no warning or reason as to why this was being done to me. And had fallen on to a planet called “Earth.”

And when I had woken up from that fiery descent and rose from the ashes, I noticed my wings were burned off, bleeding and destroyed. And from then on I was forced to join the masses of thousands of human beings that were also inflicted with pain and suffering. Have I not suffered enough in my life?

Why did God (If there is such a being…) Do this to me and to others as well?

But I can’t hunt for that answer now. And I don’t plan on doing so. All I know is that I must go forward and move on. I have to move on.

This is what I am feeling now, this is where my mind is at currently. I have so many mixed feelings, but the one true thing that I know is that I have to go on. “Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.” Will be the story of my journey, my thoughts and most importantly my progress.

May you all continue to read my story as it ventures on.

18
Dec
11

A PREVIEW OF “FLATLINE… THE STROKE CHRONICLES.”

The following is a short preview of my next series of blog post called.

 

“Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.” 

This will be a series of postings about the recent stroke that I had, and I wanted to share with everyone on what it was like to actually go through one.

As for the title ”Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.” I picked this as my title after giving it some thought during my three weeks in the hospital recovering. Part of the title comes from one of my favorite movies actually called “Flatliners.”

 

Yes… “Some lines shouldn’t be crossed.”

Then again… As anyone that knows me well enough to know that I would say the following as my reply.

“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.”

 

You can watch my preview video here.

 

 

Stay tuned for the blog series “Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.” And may this series be enlightening to everyone that reads and watches it. If you know someone who had a stroke, survived it. But was always afraid to ask questions about such an event. Then “Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles” might be the blog post to help you find those answers.

 

 

17
Dec
11

THE START OF SOMETHING NEW.

I know I have not posted in a few weeks, the reason is the following.

On Saturday November 26, 2011 at 10:30 a.m. I had woken up to discover that I had a stroke. Yes… a stroke. Actually… I did not find out it was a stroke that I had until much later in the day. I will post those details as to what happened in the very near future.

Funny how this happened to me just one week before my forty-fifth birthday. But yes that did happen and I have spent the last three weeks in the hospital recovering.

Some friends and followers of my blog have asked me what exactly happened. And I will do just that and explain everything all in due time. And as well I do plan to thank all that have helped me  and have sent me get well messages too during this odd and interesting time in my life.

For at this moment in my life things are very different for me now. All will be explained, so feel free to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. To read my up and coming posts about the stroke I just recently had.

Or if you want to ask me questions about it please feel free to do so, and I will post my answers on the blog as well.

Thanks in advance,

Lu

 

25
Nov
11

JUST TAKING A MOMENT TO SAY “THANKS.”

For this blog post I wanted to post a video for the Thanksgiving Holiday. This video is of random thoughts that I just wanted to share with everyone. You can see the video below

 

 

Thanks in advance for viewing it.

 

17
Nov
11

OCCUPY WALL STREET.

 

Now this has been something that has been on my mind for quite some time now and I just wanted to share my thoughts about it. We have all seen it on the news, and many other formats of it are happening around the world.

The movement known as “Occupy Wall Street.”

Yes readers… It actually has its own Adbusters poster promoting the start date of the occupation.

Now we all have somewhat of an idea of how this all started.

“A series of demonstrations beginning September 17, 2011, in New York City’s Zuccotti Park in the Wall Street financial district. The Canadian activist group Adbusters initiated the protests which has since become a worldwide movement. The protests have focused on social and economic inequality, high unemployment, greed, as well as corruption, and the undue influence of corporations—particularly that of the financial services sector—on government. The protesters’ slogan We are the 99% refers to the growing difference in wealth in the U.S. between the wealthiest 1% and the rest of the population.”

The above mentioned is from Wikipedia dot org.

This movement and or protest, or whatever you want to call it, has been going on for two months now. but it has been interesting to watch the daily events that are played out in the local new media of New York City and of  course the rest of the world.

We sometimes see images such as this.

Or more graphic ones like the one below.

For the record I cannot comment on the above photo for I was not the person that had taken the picture, this was an image that I had gotten off my Twitter timeline/data stream. As well as the previous photo too. So I cannot post a back story on the events that had happen when these two photos were taken.

But getting back to my thoughts on this post and what has been on my mind about all this is the fact that with all the activity that is going on around lower Manhattan. What really interest me the most is that this has been going on now for two months, that’s twelve weeks of protest.

Only in America we the people have the freedom to protest what we don’t like. If it was some other place in the world, it could have been disrupted violently with guns, tear gas, and water cannons.

Think about it… This is freedom of speech at it’s best.

Yes…. Sometimes it does get a little violent, and maybe by using the word “little” is an understatement. (My apologies in advance.) But people are protesting on what they think is wrong. And there is nothing wrong with that I feel. We do have the right to do so.

Matter of fact you can go to your local city and or state authority and get the appropriate permits to hold such an event. But the fact that people are voicing their thoughts is such large numbers that you just can’t help yourself to see and find out the latest updates on Occupy Wall Street.

Once this is all done with, lower Manhattan will never be the same. And in the years to come the story of what has happen well be told to generations of people that were never around to witness this.

Are we the people “mankind” on the breaking point? I say “No, we are not.” For mankind has to be pushed to the cusp of an event horizon. The threshold of what could happen, the worse case situation, before change and progress can be made.

It’s in our nature to go close to the edge, but not over the edge.

Personally I could never do what the people of Occupy Wall Street are doing. And it does take a form of guts and a test of wills to do what they are doing. In many ways… The people that are there are the ones that are doing it for those that can’t be out there and share our same feelings. You may or can say that they are on the battle lines of fighting for what they believe is what’s right.

Who knows what the outcome will be? But I do have a feeling that this will not go away any time soon.




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