Flatline… The Stroke Chronicles.
“Where others will not cross the line, the line is where I begin and cross over to start my journey.”
It has been a short while from being released from the hospital. And I will admit that life in general now does seem different at the moment. It seems and feels like some things I take for granted now I have to pay more attention to such as walking outside.
For instance… On my first trip to the corner store took me about an hour round trip. Mind you under normal circumstances it should have taken me just ten minutes to go to the store and back home. But I did make it to the store and back with no problems.
And I do have to admit that the thirty or sixty seconds the city give you to cross a street before the light starts to change red feels like it’s not enough at times, but I did manage. I find myself constantly reminding myself to take an easy pace walking around and not try to rush during my travels.
Getting use to walking around with a cane is an adjustment as well, granted I don’t use the cane while at home just when I am out on the street. Before my stroke I use to be able to walk long distances, but nowadays my travels have been limited. Granted I do feel that in good time I will be able to travel long distances again via walking.
But for now I do have to limit my travels and get use to walking shorter distances. As I mentioned before this is only temporary. I just have to readjust until I fully heal, or get as close as I can to being fully healed. Also I do find myself getting tired a little sooner that normal while walking as well.
The reason I find myself getting tired in my travels is because my right leg does drag and slow me down a bit at times. But once it gets back to semi or full walking use I should do better I feel.
Overall I am trying to make the necessary adjustments to what I have to go through on a daily basis now. I do have my good day and bad day as well trying to get around. But I have found that you just can’t stop and let such a thing take over your life.
“You just can’t do so.”
You have to keep going, well… that is what I tell myself anyway. I can understand how some people could fall into depression from this. But I try to keep moving forward and not think about it. But I have to admit that I do find myself saying. “Oh… I can’t do that any more, maybe next time then”
For me there will always be a next time. I can’t let this be an end to part of my life.
That is what I have to tell myself, on some days more than others, but one day… I will no longer have to say it, all in good time of course.
After all… This is only the beginning, not the end.